I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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