So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize