His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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