Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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