I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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