if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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