so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
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so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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