I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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