I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize