The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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