Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize