Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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