I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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