I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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