if i can run in heels then i can drive
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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