..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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