google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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