you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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