Im at strip club and am horny
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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