Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize