At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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