HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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