Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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