I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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