WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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