I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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