Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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