SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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