Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
organizing the empties. That sober.
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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