The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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