just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
