guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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