Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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