Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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