Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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