look no pants
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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