even my farts smell like vagina
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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