I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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