and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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