We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im part way to drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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