we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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