dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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