So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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