I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
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i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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