so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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