So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize