Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize