The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize