Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
50% drunk capacity currently
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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