Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
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accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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