yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
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I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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